


The Chamber gave him Nothing

by SarcasmLand



Category: PIERCE Tamora - Works, Tortall - Tamora Pierce
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-03
Updated: 2018-05-03
Packaged: 2019-05-01 11:16:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14519331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SarcasmLand/pseuds/SarcasmLand
Summary: Gareth the Elder's Ordeal, what his lost finger is to him, and a bunch of counterintuitive and confusing references to the concept of Nothing.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! The only think I can think of to say is I'm not incredibly fond of this, it was really late and I wasn't technically supposed to be writing fan fiction, and I rushed it a little, but I still like the idea, so whatever.
> 
> Also, please note that this is about Gareth I of Naxen, AKA Gareth the Elder, AKA Alanna's training master, AKA the one who lost a finger and was Champion before Alanna.  
> This is NOT Gareth the Younger, who is his son. Gareth the Elder is mentioned less, so I thought I should point that out.
> 
> Enjoy! Or at least, I hope you do!

Gary knows he is lucky. He is best friends with the heir to the Crown. Someday, he might help rule the kingdom, like Roald said he trusted Gary to do. There are days he is filled with a grateful-and-glad-ness that threatens to explode his insides, and nothing can make him feel empty again. But dealing with _nothing_ is a tricky business. As I said,  _nothing_ could make him feel empty again, and _nothing_ certainly has.

Because Gary has been a curious boy since he first asked his eyes what the light shining around him might show, and he has practically everything in the world except _nothing_ to satisfy his curiosity. He wonders what _nothing_ looks like. He wonders if it is capable of actions, and if the actions are actions or un-actions, and what un-actions are, anyway. He wonders if death is when he will know _nothing_ , and if he would be able to know nothing if it were there, considering that it is, well, _nothing_. But the mysteries of the Peaceful Realms are far from his mind today. Instead, the Realm occupies his mind, from his bath to his vigil.

The Chamber door seemed to loom large when Roald emerged.

The Chamber door seems to loom larger in the dawn light.

The Chamber door slams shut behind him.

The Chamber of the Ordeal is closed.

His Ordeal has begun.

Voices seem to taunt him from every direction. They echo in the darkness of the Chamber and Gary falls to his knees as they batter his ears. They are all begging for _something_ , and he sees them, thousands of faceless people in grief, or hunger, or death. Gary has so many _somethings_ he even thought to ask for _nothing_ , and the Chamber plans on giving it to him. He must listen to the screams of those who are much closer to _nothing_ then he has ever been. He wonders why he ever hoped for something this terrible, and he wonders if it can be fixed. He will help fix this, he will fight the _nothing_ , he tells the Chamber, but the _nothing_ in it responds by letting him face nothing across a windy field, and he cannot fight something that cannot be there. He wants to scream, but he cannot speak, so he lets himself pretend through the roaring pain everywhere in him that is _nothing_ that the screams he hears are his own, and he doesn’t need to scream on top of them. It doesn’t work. He is lying on a cold, stone floor in pure darkness, and he doesn’t even think to look around at this near- _nothingness_ , because _something_ in his left hand is being a pestering antagonist to this story.

Finally, after what seems like years of deep breaths, he has calmed himself down, and he sees his left hand is perfectly fine - just in dull and pounding pain.

_I won’t look for nothing anymore,_ he thinks at the Chamber-beast. _Is that it? Is that all you need me for as a knight,_ room _?_

His thoughts must still be delirious, but no. He really did insult the Chamber. He calls himself an idiot.

_You asked for a bit of the_ nothing _, Gareth-Soon-To-Be-The-First-of-The-Mortal-Naxens, and there is little else of pertinence to discuss with you._

Startled, Gary looks around for the source of the voice, but finds nothing other than a strange glow to the right of where he thinks the door might be.

 

And now when he lifts his left hand, there is a space where a finger used to be. A space full of emptiness. Gareth of Naxen has got what he wished for. Again.

In years to come, his nightmares will play out a scene where the door does not open in the right millisecond, the millisecond before he starts to scream. In his dreams, he never becomes a knight, in his dreams, he is disowned and dishonored and falling past a cliff face towards the ground, but when he wakes up, he remembers that he only started screaming when he was out of the Chamber. When he wakes up, he remembers that once he realized he’d passed, he realized that no one else could see the _Nothing_ \- only a severed stub of a finger. When he wakes up, he’ll remember a king’s sword tapping each shoulder and the top of his head, and he’ll remember who he is. He is Sir Gareth of Naxen. He has lots of things. But he also has _nothing_.


	2. Epilogue 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Epilogue is an impossible word to spell. There's going to be two Epilogues. They're not chapters, I swear.

Two weeks after the Chamber door closed behind his back, Gareth of Naxen realizes what the Chamber called him.

So he straightens himself out and walks back down the dark hallway: He's not sure if this will work, but he thinks it will.

 

With his Nothing hand, he waves to the door. And he thinks at it:

_Who ever said you were the baby namer?_

 

There is no reply.


	3. Epilogue 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Epilogue No. 2! Poor Gary. I didn't follow the canon description of Gareth the Elder's wife, but I don't mention her name, either, except in the tags, so... eh. They're naming their kid. Whatever.

“What should his name be?”

“I don’t… Well, I do.”

“And?”

“No, you suggest something first.”

“You want to name him after yourself, don’t you?”

Silence.

“Yes, you’re right. He ought to be another Gareth.”

“Really?”

“Of course. There’s no shame in your name.”

“You flatter me. I have nothing, you know.”

He realizes what he’s said too late.

“Hmm?”

“I’m nothing compared to you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wahoo! It's done! The Chamber is awesome.

**Author's Note:**

> P.S. The Chamber is awesome.
> 
> P.P.S. Thank you for reading.


End file.
